For anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one whether a child, a parent, a sibling, a relative or other loved one, and indeed for anyone whose loved one, relative or friend has suffered such a loss, then this is a MUST read. Melissa Dalton-Bradford paints an incredibly painful picture with her words here…really quite remarkable. And though it draws upon our emotions to a point of resistance Melissa captures the appeal of our greater senses to expose our pain, our wounds, our heartache in a profound way. To bury our burden of loss and anguish is self-destructive. Human nature begs and fights for survival and we are ultimately empowered to will ourselves, and our self, beyond grief, beyond despair.
We are indeed fragile though resilient. We need to embrace the sorrow for its healing. We need to live again. I will remember Melissa’s words always, returning to them often for greater understandings. As a loved one, as a friend, as a human being we need to embrace the transparency of open sharing at times of distress, loss, grief. We need to dispel the natural instinct of fear, hesitation and avoidance. It is ok to cry, to reach out, to embrace, to live beyond death.
This opening story, like the last one I posted, is dangerous but instructive and essential. It is also, I hope, beautiful. Not beautiful in the conventional sense, but beautiful in its discord-leading-to-resolution. Before sharing, I want to explain that I’ve already passed it under the eyes of those implicated, and in their humility and loving-kindness they’re willing to have it shared publicly even if it’s not too terribly flattering at first. They want it told.
Two months into our new life in Munich, two months after burying our son in another country, and my parents have not contacted us yet.
No phone calls. No emails. And I’m growing despondent.
But do I call them?
Because I’m overwhelmed with sadness, for one thing. I’m saturated with our three children’s sadness, with my husband’s sadness, which sad saturation is compounded, of course, by the demands of an international move…
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